Getting the Heck Out of Dodge

Article first published as Getting the Heck Out of Dodge on Technorati.

Before I found out my son Lucas had Autism I was watching an episode of Parenthood on NBC. The episode focused on how prevalent divorce rates are and how much they increase when a special needs child is involved. Some quick research on the internet flashes numbers at you like your chance for divorce rate goes from 50% chance to 80-90% chance.

In 2010 there was a study done in the United States at the Center for Autism and Related Disorders (CARD) at the Kennedy Krieger Institute “debunking” these statistics. The study shows a more equal divorce rate among families with special needs children and without.
Regardless, keeping a family together is difficult. So what is the solution?  

Finding Time to Keep the Marital Fire Burning

No matter what you call it, Date Night, Respite Care or Getting the Heck Out of Dodge, my advice is that of the Nike Slogan Just Do It!

My husband Jordan and I constantly struggle with asking for help from people for a night out for the two of us. In fact over the past few years most of our dates have been with other people. Mine is typically with my girlfriends going to cooking club or book club while Jordan’s typical night out used to be playing World of War Craft in our living room once a week on his computer with his friends.

While this is a great mental break it does nothing to re-energize the marital batteries. So, recently when my parents offered to have our family over for dinner I decided to take a chance and ask if they would take the boys for dinner while Jordan and I did something else. I hate asking because during the week I need so many “favors.” I request help going to doctors appointments when the kids are sick, deliveries of groceries from Trader Joes or Costco because I just don’t have the time, or someone to watch one child while I take the other to some random appointment of the day.

Surprisingly, my Mom’s response was, “I was thinking I should do that.”  Even more surprising, Jordan was harder to convince to go on a date! He was looking forward to my Mom’s cooking. Not that I can’t cook, but let’s be honest, most of my meals these days consist of semi-homemade or a quick trip for takeout. I’m too tired to make the meals I did BK (before kids).

Once Jordan was onboard with a date night with me, we bickered about what to do that would be fun, wouldn’t cost a lot of money, and we could do within our time frame. Finally Jordan remembered that an old co-worker of his told him about “the best buffet in town.” We decided to try it!

Ok I say buffet, but it was more than that – we were going to a Casino for a FREE lobster dinner. We drove about 20 miles into the middle of nowhere using my iPhone as a GPS system – if we lost our satellite signal we were lost. We arrived at the Casino extremely excited for our Saturday night adventure. Our excitement was almost immediately dashed upon arrival.

We were told in order to receive the free lobster buffet you had to sign up for the Players Club (also free). As we hurriedly jumped in line to sign up, there was a man standing at the end of the line who quickly told us that the buffet was sold out, but we could still sign up, be assured the buffet on our next visit and take a coupon as a consolation. On the coupon were 3 choices, $20 credit at either 2 of their restaurants or $20 credit towards slot play. We were in the middle of nowhere in a Casino, all we could do was accept our fate, but weren’t going to let it ruin our evening.

We signed up for our cards, choosing $20 of credit in one of the restaurants for Jordan and $20 of slot play for me figuring the best of both worlds – the man behind the desk said no one had ever done that before! Seriously! Then, being the people we are and not taking NO for an answer we went straight back to the buffet restaurant. Jordan sought out the manager and pleaded with her, explaining that this was the sole reason we drove all the way out to the casino and could she please help us. After all, he couldn’t disappoint his hardworking, loving wife of twin 3 year old boys! (Imagine sad eyes here)

Next thing we knew, we were being seated ahead of everyone else who had been there since 1 in the afternoon. It was about 8:00pm and we took our time gorging (I wish that were an understatement) on lobster, shellfish, sushi, steak and anything else that looked appetizing. After we were completely stuffed and blown away by the incredible desserts – so amazing we called over the chef to tell him, we headed out to the casino.

With an hour left and $20 of credit to spend we sat down and played our hand at the slot machines. The first couple of machines were a bust, but then we found video poker! LOVED IT!!! I had to be pried away from the machine. My last couple of rolls I kept screaming, “This is so fun! We have to leave. But this is so fun!” After cashing out, yes I said cashing out we jumped back into the car and drove home to a nice quiet house.

So not only did I get my fun night out with my husband, but basically I got paid to do it! Well ok, we had a free lobster dinner, came home with a few extra dollars in our pocket and a priceless amount of fun. Also, I think the next time we contemplate date night, I don’t think the question from Jordan will be, “What is your Mom going to make for dinner,” but “What sounds fun?”